Make it happen part 7
Your guide to making it happen pt2
In the previous module started looking at specific tactics that could help you achieve your objectives – these were:
- Develop an action plan
- Avoid careless actions
- Develop contingency plans
- Overcoming procrastination
Let us continue with the next four tactics:
- Identify possible obstacles to, and resources for, implementing change
- Finding incentives and rewards for sustained action
- Developing action-focused self-contracts and agreements
- Being resilient after mistakes and failures
- Forewarned is forearmed!
With most challenges and goals, you could probably list the potential problems that you’ll encounter before you even start.
These are predictable problems and we’ve gone through many of these earlier.
Many people don’t like to do consider potential problems.
They just want to go head-on into a process without thinking about what might go wrong – not a good strategy.
We’ve already seen that identifying possible obstacles, and coming up with potential solutions, could be almost as useful as actually going through the problem and finding a solution – but with the benefit of time and space to think about your response.
One of the most useful exercises I do with clients is to look at the ‘What-if’ scenarios and ask lots of questions –
‘What will you do if X or Y happens?’…
and then we continue to list other potential pitfalls.
Although this may feel like negative thinking, this is actually positive preparation and many teams and individuals benefit tremendously by trying to foresee potential problems and then being pro-active in dealing with them, rather than reactive.
I remember speaking with one of the England football coaches following an overseas competitive match –
their kit went missing, the training ground was padlocked and no one had the key, lots of things were going wrong.
The England coaches pulled the players together and said –
“There seems to be a little bit of skullduggery going on here – what else do you think they might do to put us off?”
The management and coaches asked the players to make a list of anything else they could think might be thrown at them.
The exercise had the desired effect: as each thought-of problem was later encountered, the players laughed it off and crossed it off their list, waiting for the next one to come up.
They could have taken the opposite approach, and got really stressed out!
They went on to win the match, convincingly
When you do come to anticipate the obstacles you might face, remember: obstacles can come from within (negative thoughts or self-talk) or be external.
Internal obstacles can be thoughts of
“I can’t do this” and other generally ‘worrying’ thoughts
External obstacles can come from a whole host of issues: expected, unexpected and even surprising – like close acquaintances saying things that might detract you or give you doubts.
5. Find incentives and rewards for sustained action
People tend to avoid engaging with or committing to a plan when the incentives and rewards involved aren’t great enough, or when the incentives to carry on as they are, are more attractive.
So – if someone enjoys drinking more than they want not to drink, then they are more likely to continue drinking.
If they feel the benefits of stopping (they may feel better, lose weight and even look healthier) then they are more likely to stop.
It’s not always helpful to rely on the end result as a goal, however.
Don’t be afraid to give yourself incentives and rewards along the way for changing your behavior.
For example, going to the cinema or theatre once a week might be a good reward for giving up sugar from your diet.
Incentives could include for every 5lb you lose you’ll buy yourself a new item of clothing and so on.
A different type of incentive might come from helping others…
A person giving up cigarettes, for example, might volunteer to help at a local hospital cancer ward or youth club.
The engagement with more disadvantaged people may well increase the incentive to stop smoking, even though it wasn’t the reason for stopping in the first place.
6. Develop Action-Focussed Self-Contracts and Agreements
Self-contracts are a really useful way to help yourself commit to what you want.
“ink it, don’t think it”
There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that writing down your goals gives you a much greater chance in achieving them
But again, you don’t have to limit it to the end result – the contract could also include general well-being statements like
“the more I remain positive the more people will be interested in me”
“If I relax and exercise daily my attitude and health will appear attractive to others.”
“The more I do positive things and the more I talk with enthusiastic people the better I will feel”
When you start to believe your future is in your hands – and isn’t dictated by your upbringing, where you live or how much money you earn now – it’s easy to see how contracts like this could act as a driver for action for any problem area in your life.
The self-contract focusses your attention on what’s important, and of value, to you
7. Be Resilient after mistakes and failures
It’s essential at the start of any change programme to understand that your path or the journey will not be all straightforward –
lapses happen, things get in the way, difficulties arise.
If you don’t consider potential pitfalls from the outset, when they happen they could really knock you off your stride, and if not prepared, you might even give up and tell yourself –
“This will never work – I’m never going to be able to do it…”
By accepting that obstacles and hurdles will be there – and contracting that you won’t punish yourself for any relapse – you’ll increase your levels of resilience and what is called ‘bounce back ability’ to get back on track.
It can really help to record your progress, and this type of record-keeping will show that even though you make gradual improvements over time, it’s not a smooth progress from A-Z –
they’ll be ups and downs and that’s natural.
It can also help to set small targets along the way and to reward yourself when you hit each one;
but expect hiccups and be ready for them.
When Andy Murray was trying to achieve his first Slam win he lost many matches, including quarter-finals, semi-finals and even finals with the media constantly questioning whether he had what it takes to win a Grand Slam.
I looked at each milestone in Andy’s progress as a big achievement on route to his ultimate goal, which he not only achieved but repeated – also winning Olympic Gold in the process.
He showed great resilience after every failure to go on and achieve his long-term objective
Double Olympic Gold medal winner Kelly Holmes had a career full of obstacles and challenges.
She showed tremendous resilience before winning two gold medals and recalls
“It’s been a complete struggle, to be honest!”
Resilience is a choice. You get knocked down and it’s your choice whether you get up and try again or you say “I’ve had enough”.
Looking at it as a personal choice can also help with your motivation. Rather than externalising the issue as someone else’s fault, you start to internalise the response as your responsibility.
A much better place to be.
In summary
There are a number of components contributing to your ability to succeed.
Taken along with the strategies in the previous module, the following 8 points can help you find success…
- Developing an action plan
- Avoiding careless actions
- Developing contingency plans
- Overcome Procrastination and delays
- Identify possible obstacles to, and resources for, implementing change
- Finding incentives and rewards for sustained action
- Developing action-focused self-contracts and agreements
- Being resilient after mistakes and failures
These will stand you in good stead to be best prepared on your journey to success.
Your Mynd activity
Sit with someone who knows you well and can come up with potential obstacles, and offer them your strategy for dealing with it.
A discussion could follow whereby you both come up with potential solutions and possible resources to help you through.
Incidentally, simply involving a friend in the process will give you added incentive to achieve your goal, or at least give it your most considered and planned attempt.
You could also plan some incentives and rewards for your journey.
Think of things that really make you happy (use the happiness modules for inspiration) and decide how often or at what junctures you will treat yourself to these things.